Don't prey where we play! How can children navigate the online world safely?

For young people today, being online isn't a choice— it's just how life works. Staying connected, creating content, learning, and keeping up with friends/family: the digital world makes all of this possible. But it also comes with real risks that are worth taking seriously.

For the third content session of the Singapore Children's Forum (SCF) 2021, held on 4 September, participants heard from two guests who have made it their mission to make the internet safer for young people: Mr David Ng, a child rights advocate specialising in online safety and digital citizenship, and the founders of Flag You're It (FYI), Singapore's first movement against online child grooming.

Online Safety and Digital Citizenship — Mr David Ng David opened by laying out the landscape honestly. Young people online can face a range of harms: spam and phishing, cyberbullying and harassment, exposure to sexual content and grooming, and attacks on their values through racist remarks or biased information.

But his message wasn't just about danger. Education, he stressed, does two things at once: it protects young people from being harmed, and it helps prevent them from inadvertently participating in harmful behaviour themselves. More than that, a young person who understands how to navigate the internet safely can become an active force for good— someone who recognises when a peer is at risk and knows how to help.

David pointed to EU Kids Online, a multinational research network led by the London School of Economics, as a model for how seriously this work is being taken globally. Notably, the network works with parents too, recognising that many feel anxious about losing visibility into their children's online lives.

David's take? The digital world doesn't have to drive parents and young people apart. It can actually be a bridge. A parent and child connected on social media, for instance, can stay in each other's lives in a low-pressure way. The parent is able to check in, and they have an option to have a deeper conversation offline if something feels off.

Don't Prey Where We Play— Flag You're It

FYI picked up where David left off, with a focused look at one of the most serious risks young people face online: grooming.

The numbers are sobering. A 2019 Microsoft Digital Civil Study found that 68% of young people online had received unwanted sexual content, and 1 in 2 had been approached by strangers online. A 2015 AsiaOne report found that 1 in 3 of those approached by strangers had met them offline. And the risk is highest for adolescents aged 13 to 17.

One of FYI's most important points: a groomer doesn't look like a stereotype. They can be any age, gender, race, or nationality.

The three stages of grooming

If you think you're being groomed

Trust that feeling. Some steps you can take:

If you're worried about a friend

FYI shared some signs to watch for:

1. Your friend becomes increasingly secretive about who they are texting and what they are doing online. They may also spend more time online than offline.

2. Although it is not always the case, having an older partner can be a cause for concern.

3. Your friend is easily distressed, upset, or suddenly withdrawn. Victims of groomers may not understand that they are being groomed and often experience a mix of love, confusion, and fear.

4. They can become sexually matured and exhibit sexual behaviours, language, or even an understanding of sex beyond their age.
   

Lastly, FYI shared some ways for peers to assist a victim out of a grooming situation and show support.

1. Let them know they did the right thing by opening up.

2. Discuss about reporting it to a trust adult as soon as possible.

3. Tell them 'It's not your fault'

To learn more about how grooming happens and how to spot it, follow FYI on Instagram at @flagyoureit.

Growing up as a digital native doesn't automatically make you immune to online harm— it just means the risks are closer to home. The more young people know, the better equipped they are to protect themselves and look out for each other.

For a quick summary of the tips above, check out the post below: