Mental health: what it really means, and how to look after it

For the first public thematic session of the Singapore Children's Forum (SCF), held on 7 August 2021, participants came together online to explore one of the most important and most misunderstood topics affecting young people today: mental wellbeing.

Two guest speakers brought different but complementary perspectives to the conversation: Adj A/Prof Daniel Fung, CEO of the Institute of Mental Health, and Ms Julia Kwek, caseworker at Youth Service @ Children's Society.

Mental Health Literacy by Adj A/Prof Daniel Fung A/Prof Fung opened with a distinction that might seem small but matters a lot: the difference between disease, illness, and sickness.

• Disease is what's happening in the body— the biological process

• Illness is how the person experiences it

• Sickness is how society responds to it
  

He used COVID-19 to make it concrete: someone might carry the virus (disease), feel only mild symptoms (illness), but still have to isolate (sickness). Three different things, often tangled together.

He then asked participants to sit with a question: does not having a disease mean you're healthy? Not necessarily. Health, including mental health, isn't just the absence of something wrong. It's a state of genuine wellbeing.

The research backs up why this matters. A 2016 study of Singaporean youth found that 44.5% of respondents associated mental illness with words like "depressed", "crazy", or "different." That same year, another study found that 1 in 7 people in Singapore had experienced a mental health condition in their lifetime but more than 75% never sought help.

A/Prof Fung was clear: mental illness means the brain isn't functioning as it should, and it deserves proper treatment from trained professionals, just like any other health condition.

That said, he drew an important line between mental illness and mental health. Mental health, he explained, is closely tied to stress. Lower stress generally means greater wellbeing; higher, persistent stress can pull us in the other direction. If your brain is helping you cope, you may not need medical treatment. But when stress becomes severe or doesn't let up, reaching out to a counsellor or therapist is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Youth Mental Health – Ms Julia Kwek

Julia zoomed in on teens specifically– a period of rapid change where how we manage our emotions shapes almost everything: how we cope, how we connect, how we grow.

She introduced a model that helps explain why we sometimes feel overwhelmed. Three emotional systems are always at work inside us:

• The drive/excitement system — what motivates and energises us

• The connection/contentment system — what helps us feel safe and close to others

• The threat/protection system — what kicks in when we feel anxious or under pressure
  

Ideally, these three systems work in balance. But when one dominates, like the threat system during a bout of social anxiety, it becomes hard to access the others. That feeling of being stuck in worry or fear, unable to relax or connect, is something many young people know well.

Julia shared two approaches for managing difficult feelings:

• Acceptance – acknowledging how you are feeling and allowing yourself the permission to seek help and to rest

• Commitment – acknowledging what is important to you, taking intentional action to pursue these things, taking small steps to get out of unhelpful patterns and celebrating these steps
  

She also offered a reframe that many participants found meaningful: difficult feelings don't always go away. But over time, we can grow around them and expand other parts of our lives so that those feelings take up less of the whole picture.

Supporting someone else

Julia also spoke about how to show up for a friend who's struggling in ways that actually help:

• Listen first. Hold back the urge to jump in with advice

• Hold space and let them feel what they're feeling without rushing to fix it

• Stay connected, especially when they seem most withdrawn

• Suggest doing something together, even something small

One important note: supporting others well means knowing your own limits too. Taking on someone else's emotions without boundaries doesn't help them and it can quietly take a toll on you. Looking after yourself is part of being a good support.

The session closed with a lively Q&A, with participants asking thoughtful questions that showed just how seriously they were engaging with the topic.

Below are resources for getting help and support:

• Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline:

6389-2222 (24 hours)​

• Samaritans of Singapore: ​ 

1800-221-4444 (24 hours) /​ 1-767 (24 hours)​

• Singapore Association for Mental Health: ​ 

1800-283-7019 ​(Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)​

• Silver Ribbon Singapore: ​ 

6386-1928 / 6509-0271 ​(Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)

• TOUCHline (Counselling):

1800-377-2252 ​(Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)​

• Fei Yue’s Online Counselling Service: ​ 

eC2.sg website ​(Mon to Fri, 10am to 12pm, ​2pm to 5pm)